old gray - slow burn
i’ve been thinking a lot about this album lately. it became one of my favorite albums ever. but it's also not an album i would recommend with a clear consciousness. it’s 20 minutes of screamo and emoviolence, with most songs being under a minute long, and a lot of being spoken-word. it’s one of those rare albums that just completely wrecked me emotionally. like, those 20 minutes were psychologically agonizing. first time i listened to it, i had to take a break halfway through because of how much it got to me. even the little piano interludes made me feel super uneasy. i've listened to it a bunch since — it's weird, every time i sit with it, front to back, is when i'm feeling really really awful. i don't know what it is that always pulls me back to this album.
what makes it even harder to sit with is knowing that all the experiences the lyrics talk about are real. this was old gray’s last album before they disbanded, and i can’t help but think that the pain and grief that went into making it played a part in their fallout. it’s a weird feeling because this album means so much to me, and i relate to so much of it, but at the same time, i almost feel like a voyeur. it’s hard not to feel the weight of what all of their music means. the musicianship on this album is really, really ncredible. it’s so well-crafted, which makes it even sadder that the band disbanded. i really hope all the members are in a better place now. i don’t think i’d ever have the strength to make something this vulnerable.
i wouldn’t call this a must-listen because, honestly, i wouldn’t recommend it to most people. but if you can sit with it, it’s perfect in its own way. it’s one of my favorite albums of all time, and it’s something i’ll always come back to, even if it destroys me every time.